It seems the world is now overrun with very large women on cell phones who have nothing better to do than screw everything up. Only recently, I was at a WalMart trying to make my way down the isle to get some adult vitamins and was BLOCKED by a waddler on a cell phone who had nothing to do but explain a very uneventful life to the person on the other end of the line..."I'm at WalMart now but in a few minutes, I'm heading over to K-Mart and I'll call you again then."
Whew! I realized I was about to miss something BIG and it was probably her getting into her car and watching it tip over.
It seems there's no end to it. The worst was when I took my wife to the doctor. That's where I learned NEVER to hire fat women!
So, I'm waiting for my wife to have a cast removed from her arm. There's this really fat woman who comes in and soon begins to have a fat woman's conversation. At first, I thought it was the receptionist talking to a medical records person or something like that. But, it turns out the fat woman is on a cell phone speaking really loudly to the person on the other end of the call. She's wanting to be sure that they can receive a computer interface with the doctor's office so that her Workman's Compensation claim can be efficiently processed. She had hurt her arm falling up the steps at work. It seems she had another Workman's Compensation claim a year or two before for another reason and the computer interface method had worked well and efficiently for her then. It seems so odd that she'd have yet again another Workman's Compensation claim and had figured out how to efficiently facilitate the receipt of said benefits. It works like this: Be a fat woman and fall down, then someone will pay you for it. You have to think outside the box though. You need to learn that talking on the cell phone loudly in public places is as important as talking on the thing when making left turns into the face of oncoming traffic. Don't hire fat white women with cell phones or you'll go broke.
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Cell phones piss me off regardless. Sometime if you have a passenger, or if you are one, just count the number of drivers on cell phones. Don't count bluetooth or hands-free. You will be astounditated. If only the M1 Abrams main battle tank would get 35 mpg, then I would be safe!
You’re obviously a racist, sexist and anti-technology. You dinosaur types have always amazed me. Fat women (white or otherwise) have always been the backbone of our society. Just because they don’t draw huge press like stodgy old white men who hang out in men’s restrooms in airports, that doesn’t mean they aren’t appreciated by the Supermodels of this great country of ours. Without fat girls, who would we have to compare the aforementioned sweet meats to? Think before you write! Otherwise you may in end up in the cosmetics section of Wal-Mart with a cell phone stuck in what would normally be considered an exit only area of your body.
This is the best thing you have ever written on this blog. Such insight! You had obviously been drinking very heavily when you wrote it.
Obesity is a problem, particularly in America. At first, I was one of those live-and-let- live types. If someone wanted to eat themselves into grotesque butt ugliness, more power to them. It just made it easier for me to get a date. Then I realized, hey, the women are getting butt uglier fat than the men. Moving here from Costa Rica and living now in the Midwest and seeing the negative reaction to gay marriage, I made it a point right then and there to be born a hetro-sexer because people said you had to be born that way. So, that’s how I chose to be born. .
So, I found a woman and I asked her out on a nice date. We were going to go to a good movie and then engage in some interesting dialogue as I explained to her a restaurant was out of the question because I had been born a hetro-sexer. She completely agreed and it appeared we would be compatible.
On our way to the movie, a car pulled along side of us in the next lane and as we rounded a curve, the car next to us completely rolled over and ran into us, knocking us off the road into a ravine. I climbed out of my damaged vehicle and ran up the hill to see if the people in the other car were OK. But, there was only one person, the driver. He must have weighed 700 pounds. Although I did not know his sexual preference, it was clear that when he rounded the turn, his obesity shifted resulting in a disproportionate movement of the bigger part of him against the driver’s door. This caused his car to flip to the left and roll.
The obese driver appeared to be unharmed, apparently cushioned by his own lard. His car had been crushed, but oddly from the inside out. He had also completely ruined his air bag which could not handle the momentum of his mass. I then ran back down to the ravine and told my date that the evening was over and that she should go home now. The car was ruined. I advised her she would have to walk.
The night ended with the obese man and me going to a restaurant where he proceeded to buy me a plate of hamburgers. At my age, I determined I was more likely to die from a car accident than heart disease. The wreck had been a big lesson for me. Fat had saved this man’s life. I wasn’t going to take any more chances.
The moral of the story is that we should all keep an open mind about people and not pass judgment just because someone else is overweight or a homo-sexer. That person may save our life one day making it possible for us to lose weight and get another date in the future.
G.N.
I know this may not be "politically correct," but just what the hell is so gosh darn bad about being racist, sexist, and anti-technology? In my day, we didn't know what those terms meant, and we were doing JUST fine.
Ever since they put me in this hospital I have had nothing to do all day long. So I been reading random blogs and yours is OK. My nurse is a fat cracker with a cell phone and she keeps talking on it even when she give me my medication. I don’t like TV or the radio, but I like this blog cause it makes fun of fat cracker womens. I will read it again. It better than a enema.
Not to get too far off the subject, but it isn't just lard-asses that glue the cellphone to the side of their head.
Although - it is frequently women, but, well, think about it. Who would the world's talking champion be - what gender? We all know the answer to that question.
Rush Limbaugh!
I know Rush Limbaugh. he's a fat boy. We got no use for him in Costa Rica. He's a fat boy!
He supports family values. He blew through three marriages like a hot knife through butter,he did.
He has no mercy on the poor....like drug addicters in the inner-city. But, he bought HIS dope illegal from his house woman.
He's pro-military. But, he was draft age during Viet Nam....could never find the way to get his fat butt into uniform.
Rush Limbaugh is a fat boy! We got a name for him and his type in Costa Rica....it's FAT BOY!
I accidentally went to the wrong blog. It was a guy from UK who went to Ecuador. Speaking of Ecuador, I remember a case where the guy from Ecuador divorced his wife because he had a problem with the food that she cooked. I think we should remove him to Ethiopia. Since there's no food there, he can't have a problem with the food his woman cooks.
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