Well, it's true. This is a big scam. First of all, let me say there are a certain number of veterans who have become homeless. But, you can tell them from the fakers and it's not them who irritate me. What irritates me is the yuppie homeless guys. Yup! they 're the ones who used to be stockbrokers and Amway salemen who decided there is more money in staring me down under the bridge and squirting dirty water on the window so I can pay them to clean it off....probably with their old Amway crap..
I'm going home from work...WORK...and there's this guy at the stoplight, under the bridge. He's looking at me, I'm looking at him. He's looking at me, I'm looking at him. Then, He's starting to come over to my truck and he has one of those stupid signs on cardbord that you cannot read until he's right there! The sign says," WILL WORK WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER. GIVE ME SOME MONEY!".
So, I'm thinkin', there are over 14,000,000 million illegal aliens in this country who look and sound different than us and they came in and took all the jobs we shipped over to India a couple years ago. Funny thing. The same people who bitched that we shipped all our jobs to India are the same people who say the Mexicans came and took all the jobs away from Americans. How does that deal work? So, if they can get jobs, why does this knucklehead think he can wait till hell freezes over? And, why does he think I should give him my money?
So, just about the time he gets to my truck, I roll down the window and pretend I'm going to hand him money. When he gets just close enough, I say,"BUENOS DIAS! you Amway bastard!"
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13 comments:
My God you’ve gone and done it now! Making fun of homeless people, what’s next, the pope? You gender neutral vegan types have always amazed me. Homeless people are the backbone of this great nation. Thomas Jefferson was homeless, or at least he would have been if he hadn’t owned Mount Vernon. Thomas Jefferson didn’t pay taxes, neither do homeless people. Homeless people are just emulating Thomas Jefferson and who are you to make fun of one of the greatest Americans ever? All of the great statesmen in this country are dead now, thus they are all homeless. Homeless people are just great statesmen who haven’t died yet.
This does not seem a very constructive way to deal with them. I have been thinking about this. I think possible a good thing for me to do is look for some olive drab construction paper and cut it the size of a dollar bill. Then I would write on it "money available, it is called job."
If you can thank this, read a teacher.
This is one of the best opinions you have ever posted to this site. Very informative. You had obviously been smoking a great deal of crack when you wrote it.
I saw some illegal alien left a comment on this blog. Is that allowed?
I was visiting a friend in San Francisco a few years ago and there was this radio call-in show. Homelessness is a burning issue because everyone wants to live there, homeless included, and they do. So, this idiot woman calls into the program and indicates homeless are no different than anyone else and she knows because she's dating a homeless guy. I ask you, how the hell does this work? "Hey babe! I found a new dumpster today. Wanna go out for a bite or would you rather just go back to my box?"
Hey! jus because I'm from Costa Rica don't mean I wasn't borned here. I don't see your credentials.
i USED TO LIVE IN A BOX. NOW I LIVE IN THIS HOSPITAL. HOMELESS PEOPLE GIVE STREET BUMS A BAD NAME. THIS IS A FUNNY BLOG. THEY SHOULD PRINT IT IN THE NY TIMES. YOU COULD CRUMBLE IT UP AND LINE YOUR TRENCH COAT WITH IT ON A COLD NIGHT.
Mr. Nogales,
Sire, you may think you are a real American, but I have worked with real Americans, I know what a real American is, and sire, you are no real American.
Funny you should mention being in the hospital...
An anonymous friend of mine,named Norbert,was recently confined to Lawrence Memorial Hospital in a semi-private room. Much to his dismay, he spent a week in that room next to a homeless man (or so he claimed) who after a few days began to open up about his personal life. The weather had become much colder and the guy figured out that he could feign some soft tissue injuries which were really hard to diagnose, pretended not to walk and act desperate. He was admitted to the hospital for observation and had extended the stay to four days.
He further iterated to Norbert, my unnamed friend, that he had pulled such stunts before, having chosen in the past to spend time in jail. By his own admission, he found the experience to have been worse because the host of characters occupying space with him, many themselves homeless, did not live up to his social standards so he developed his hospital stunt. By the end of the 4th day, he had become quite a nuisance to Norbert who decided to turn the guy in to hospital officials. Norbert had been paying over $400/month for his family health insurance coverage, the weather had improved and the homeless man said the only reason he was now staying was because of the women (nurses I assume) which were nowhere to be seen in jail.
The problem compounded itself when Norbert relayed this scam to officials who were quite skeptical of my friend's story. Norbert had been admitted to the hospital after suffering a large gash near his left eye which he had explained to the admitting desk was the result of being shot by a Macadamia nut or something of a similar nature which he assumed had been fired from a spud gun by a bunch of West Lawrence hooligans. He had chased them and found an empty aerosol can in the vicinity of where the sound had emanated and noted several burnt matches. Norbert had been hunting for Morels at the time.
Well, these geniuses at the hospital told the police who came to take a report and they discerned that Norbert's story was indeed a fabrication because Morels were out of season. As long as I have known Norbert, I have never known him to be a hunter of mushrooms. He probably doesn't know what the season is. Anyway, the police gave his story no credence at all and upon Norbert's complaining about the homeless guy, they, the hospital officials, decided to kick Norbert out. Whatever did really happen, it was clear that Norbert had nearly lost his eye. Nobody could ever really figure out if the homeless guy was ill, injured or what.
To this day, Norbert has little good to say about the homeless. I cannot totally disagree with him, although I try not to paint with too broad a brush. If that makes me a snob, so be it.
My goodness that was verbose, but very good in its various layers of meaning. In it, we can not only see the plight of Norbert, knowing his tax dollars were paying the bill for this useless man, but when he attempted to turn the man in for being useless, the police, also supported by Norbert's tax dollars, proved themselves to be advocates for the useless and exacted vengeance upon the taxpayer. If there's a lesson to be learned from this - I've missed it!
That was the whole point! But, Percivil, or whatever his name was above, is confined to a lunatic hospital and I was merely hoping he wasn't burdened with a homeless roommate.
That toynbee fellow needs a good sterno enema. He talk like he have lips on his butt. This is a funny blog. they should print it in the NY times.
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