BILL O’REILLY RETURNS FROM AFGHANISTAN. Average I.Q. of both countries goes down. (Except in Afghanistan).

Bill has returned from a week long “on assignment”, as he likes to call it, visit. Odd, he would be “on assignment” when he is his own boss, but then he thinks he is everyone’s boss. Undoubtedly, he will be chagrinned that Christmas is not widely practiced there.

Only just last year, he declared there was a war on Christmas, and thus, Christianity. Then he started beating his drums…invited people to come on his program to debate, wherein he usually goes into a screaming rant and calls them names, like pin-head, anti-American and secular progressive (SPs). When challenged to identify them, he comes up with household names like George Soros and Tim Robbins and other highly influential people of this ilk who all hold the rope to the rings in our noses. But, HE has it figured out.

Anyway, he identifies this non-existent war wherein retail department stores instruct their employees to say stuff like “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas”, and this serves as proof there is a full frontal attack on Christmas and Christianity. Never mind that the Bible never mentions that the act of celebrating Christmas was to entail the spending of absurd amounts of money on plastic and electronic trash in order to celebrate the birth of the Savior….that’s a whole other issue, that is. In fact, Christmas isn’t even mentioned in the Bible at all.

Forgotten in all this mess is the fact that these stores exist to make a profit and rather than turning off 80% of the population with obvious insults, perhaps, JUST PERHAPS, they are trying to include the other 20% of the population made up of Jews, Muslims, Atheists….you name it…Guess that’s why O’Reilly doesn’t own any department stores.

But, what he does do is write books. Then, he hawks them endlessly on his radio show. And, he sells enough to get into the New York Times top 10 list. You can even become a PREMIUM SUBSCRIBER to his newsletter, so you can PAY to receive advertisements for his books. Now, that’s IS quite a deal isn’t it. Then, every week, at least one lobotomized listener will call to thank him for what he’s doing for the country. I want to call Bill O’Reilly and thank him for what he’s doing for Bill O’Reilly. I know he is very grateful for what he’s doing in that arena.

I turned on the car radio the other day and before I knew it, Bill’s head swelled up out of the radio so big I had to escape the car on the side of the road just to breath. Then, it blew up. I remember once Bill said that if George W. Bush wanted to save his legacy, all he needed to do was come on his program and answer some questions. Let’s see: Iraq, illegal immigration, record deficits, F.E.M.A./Katrina fiasco, etc., etc., etc.,…right Bill. All he needs to do is come on YOUR program. It’s all that simple.

Bill O’Reilly has a master’s degree from Harvard University. That goes a long way in explaining the problem with higher education in this country today.

Investigation: FASCISM ALIVE in CHICAGO!

YES, It’s true. Before we begin, a little background is needed. In 1508, Michelangelo was commissioned by Pope Julius to paint the ceiling and other areas of the Sistine Chapel. All of the entire world has stood in awe of the results for over 600 years. Yet, had Michelangelo or the Pope, or both determined that the world could not view these works or reproductions of them, then as sole owners or representative of owners of these works on private property, they had every right to do so. But, as men, they were giants and much too big for such trivialities.

Today, in Chicago, artwork is on display in a public area, bought and paid for by citizens of Chicago by means of confiscatory taxes. Make no mistake about it. This artwork is NOT of the caliber of the works of Michelangelo, and is in fact more suitable for display in a salvage yard, but that is the nature of what we call modern art, in many cases an oxymoron.

Art throughout history has often become important not because it IS important, but because the artist had a wealthy benefactor who promoted a protégé far beyond the level that their talents would have otherwise carried them. So, for many the road to success is nothing more than the road of dumb luck. These are artists who should count their blessings on a daily basis for not being burdened in vocation with the drudgery and quiet desperation of which so many suffer

Now, along comes one Anish Kapoor, the sculptor of a piece called “Cloud Gate” which is akin to a chrome coffee bean turned rounded end up and which is set dead center in Chicago’s Millineum Square, a renovated urban setting which stuck the taxpayers to the tune of $250,000,000 (yes, million!). And that part is fine, I guess. It is cute. What is NOT cute is that the artist, or the city, or BOTH have determined there is nothing wrong with copyrighting the “view” mind you of said sculpture. And, I thought Mussolini was dead. ***@@#$!$!

http://www.glasssteelandstone.com/BuildingDetail/636.php

So, photographer/journalist and I assume citizen of Chicago, Warren Wimmer, was approached by security as he was setting up his tripod, and informed he would need to buy a permit to proceed. WHAT! Permit? What permit? HE DON’T NEED NO STINKING PERMIT. HE’s AN AMERICAN. THEY NEED TO TAKE THEIR PERMIT, SET IT ON FIRE, AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T EVER SHINE! And, the good citizens of Chicago should all head down to millennium Park every Saturday morning at 10:00 with their cameras of every make and kind and snap away until the policing authorities of Chicago are sent into a donut eating frenzy.

First, Mussolini made the trains run on time. Then he copyrighted air and water, then he copyrighted the “view”. Then he was pumped full of holes and erected in the town square…where anyone who wanted to took his picture!!!

Homeless People are Really Starting to Irritate Me!

Well, it's true. This is a big scam. First of all, let me say there are a certain number of veterans who have become homeless. But, you can tell them from the fakers and it's not them who irritate me. What irritates me is the yuppie homeless guys. Yup! they 're the ones who used to be stockbrokers and Amway salemen who decided there is more money in staring me down under the bridge and squirting dirty water on the window so I can pay them to clean it off....probably with their old Amway crap..

I'm going home from work...WORK...and there's this guy at the stoplight, under the bridge. He's looking at me, I'm looking at him. He's looking at me, I'm looking at him. Then, He's starting to come over to my truck and he has one of those stupid signs on cardbord that you cannot read until he's right there! The sign says," WILL WORK WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER. GIVE ME SOME MONEY!".

So, I'm thinkin', there are over 14,000,000 million illegal aliens in this country who look and sound different than us and they came in and took all the jobs we shipped over to India a couple years ago. Funny thing. The same people who bitched that we shipped all our jobs to India are the same people who say the Mexicans came and took all the jobs away from Americans. How does that deal work? So, if they can get jobs, why does this knucklehead think he can wait till hell freezes over? And, why does he think I should give him my money?

So, just about the time he gets to my truck, I roll down the window and pretend I'm going to hand him money. When he gets just close enough, I say,"BUENOS DIAS! you Amway bastard!"

I'm Really Getting Irritated

It seems the world is now overrun with very large women on cell phones who have nothing better to do than screw everything up. Only recently, I was at a WalMart trying to make my way down the isle to get some adult vitamins and was BLOCKED by a waddler on a cell phone who had nothing to do but explain a very uneventful life to the person on the other end of the line..."I'm at WalMart now but in a few minutes, I'm heading over to K-Mart and I'll call you again then."

Whew! I realized I was about to miss something BIG and it was probably her getting into her car and watching it tip over.

It seems there's no end to it. The worst was when I took my wife to the doctor. That's where I learned NEVER to hire fat women!

So, I'm waiting for my wife to have a cast removed from her arm. There's this really fat woman who comes in and soon begins to have a fat woman's conversation. At first, I thought it was the receptionist talking to a medical records person or something like that. But, it turns out the fat woman is on a cell phone speaking really loudly to the person on the other end of the call. She's wanting to be sure that they can receive a computer interface with the doctor's office so that her Workman's Compensation claim can be efficiently processed. She had hurt her arm falling up the steps at work. It seems she had another Workman's Compensation claim a year or two before for another reason and the computer interface method had worked well and efficiently for her then. It seems so odd that she'd have yet again another Workman's Compensation claim and had figured out how to efficiently facilitate the receipt of said benefits. It works like this: Be a fat woman and fall down, then someone will pay you for it. You have to think outside the box though. You need to learn that talking on the cell phone loudly in public places is as important as talking on the thing when making left turns into the face of oncoming traffic. Don't hire fat white women with cell phones or you'll go broke.